Friday, 19 July 2013

ATTACHMENT


From our early life, we develop an attachment to our primary caregivers which remains all through our lives. This bonding determines how we relate to other people because it created the foundation for all communications in our relationships.  The 3 different attachment types are:

ANXIOUS: Wants a lot of closeness, worries about rejection, unhappy when not in a relationship, plays games to hold onto your attention, difficulty explaining what’s bothering him and expects you to guess, he is suspicious that you are being unfaithful.
AVOIDANT: Sends mixed signals in the relationship, values his independence greatly, is mistrustful and fears being taken advantage of, he doesn’t make his intentions clear and has difficulty talking about what’s going on between you.
SECURE: Reliable and consistent, makes decisions with you, flexible, communicates well, can compromise during arguments, is not afraid of commitment.

Unconditional love is not the only manifestation of beneficial love but, it is the most powerful. A secure relationship influences the quality of future relationships with other people. Insecurity can be a huge problem in our lives, and it takes shape when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient understanding, safety, and mutual accord. Attachment always comes with fear-fear of losing other person, or the acceptance of other person, fear of decrement of feeling in other person for us. Anxious adults have a deep desire for closeness and dependence.

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